Sarah's beauty routine ; 2017 version

These are the items I was travelling with at the time I blogged this post.

Just thought it was time to update my beauty routine and introduce the new members of the family.

Items listed below are in the sequence of which I use first to the last

Shiseido White Lucent Brightening Cleansing Foam

(I usually use Shiseido IBUKI gentle cleanser but I don't have it travel sized)

For someone with combination/oily skin ("self-diagnosed"), I like it squeaky and I mean, literally squeaky. You know that squeak you can hear and feel when rinsing off the product, that gives me life. The difference between both these cleansers you ask? I honestly can't tell, all I know is that Shiseido has always worked well with my skin from the very start so I don't see the need to change anytime soon.

Shiseido Pureness Balancing Softener Alcohol-Free

Same old, same old, I'm a frequent repeat purchaser once I've found something that works well on my face and does its job well. My mommy loves supplying me with skincare products right before I leave for studies so I always have an abundance of supply and never run out (oh bless her). Since I've been doing a lot of moving around and traveling, I've filled up my Shiseido IBUKI Quick Fix Mist spray bottle with my softener so I can just spray it on, pat it down and voila, finito.

Shiseido Pureness Mattifying Moisturiser Oil-Free

Though I still use this moisturiser when I stay put in one location, due to my frequent travel schedule, I've replaced packing my liquid moisturiser by packing facemasks (White Lucent Power Brightening mask is seen in the photo) with me to hydrate my skin before sleeping. And yes, I skip moisturising my face sometimes on days out, I'm only human.

Nivea Sun Kids Pocket Size Sun Lotion (30 HIGH)

It's very high water resistant, I've used it for my body as well when I went down the beaches in Roses, Spain. It does no harm on my face when I apply an extra layer of protection on hot sunny days for travels or to run errands. It's cute too, I adore downsized items.

Laura Mercier Tinted Moisturiser SPF 20 UVB/UVA (Nude)

This faithful cover-up never disappoints, in between my second purchase of Laura Mercier's tinted moisturiser, I tested out a couple other foundations (listed below). However, being the Sarah that likes everything quick and easy, having this holy liquid gold to lay upon my face that not only gives my skin an even tone but also protects me from UV rays and moisturises (hence, not feeling guilty for skipping a coat of moisturiser). This is a God sent item, amen.

Tarte Amazonian Clay BB Tinted Moisturise Broad Spectrum SPF 20 (Light)

1. leaning on the 'seemingly thick' on the liquid/texture chart
2. vegan product

3. it was nice knowing it had natural ingredients

4. it was moisturising but my skin works a 24hr job in producing oil so it still leaves me looking oily (after wearing for more than 2-3 hrs) and I'm really not into the "dewy" look
5. emptied my tube so I guess it shows I don't hate it or maybe hate the idea of wasting

If you see me 'dewy', it's definitely unintentional. I did not choose the dewy life. 

Revlon ColorStay Foundation Combination/Oily Skin (310 Warm Golden)

I was very keen on trying this foundation but my dumbass purchased a shade much too dark for my skin tone. Serves me right for being too shy to ask for help. When I was testing the shades in Boots at the time, I was pretty convinced I had the right shade (tsk tsk). Lesson learnt, always ask for help (no matter how much you think you are a nuisance to someone). Recently decided to use it to paint since I couldn't sell it off on Depop. Or I might get that white foundation from NYX and do the mixing, we'll see.

Tarte Airbrush Finish Bamboo Foundation Brush is what I use to blend my tinted moisturiser on my face. What more should I say about a stick with smaller sticks on it?

Maybelline Baby Lips Moisturising Lip Balm
I slap on this baby so my lips are moisturised by the time I apply lip tint or lipstick at the end.

Maybelline NY The Eraser Eye | Perfect & Cover Concealer (Light)

Promotes that it's instant anti-aging, includes ingredients such as goji berry (usually found in all of the soups I make) and haloxyl (God knows what this is). I use it to conceal my dark circles that I've had my whole life and certain dark spots that the ghost some of my pimples left. In all truth, I caved into peer influence and found satisfaction.

Urban Decay Naked Palette 1

1. "Buck" for slightly outer base

2. "Naked" to blend most of the eye

3. "Sin" for centre

4. "Virgin" for inner corner of the eye

5. "Hustle" for outer corner of the eye

6. "Sidecar" for under lower lashes

(I know it is not a very good description, it's hard for me to describe my actions when applying the shades, feel welcome to ask me anytime)

Sleek MakeUP Ultra Matte Palette Brights

(Mineral Based Eye Shadow)

1. Purple for my left eyelid, blend all over

2. Dark pink on the right eyelid, also blend all over
Recently started using the Orange when I'm feeling zesty (that's a word right?)

I use my Hermione makeup wand brush to apply any eyeshadow from my Sleek palette. 

Sephora Eye Lash Curler

Sadly, this time round, my eyelash perm did not last as long as the first time I did last year, hence, me having to use my faithful eyelash curler to curl my straight baby lashes up. Can't say it's effective at all, I blame my stubborn asian lashes. My lashes are barely noticeable in the photo, I know, my baby lashes are trying their best just so you know.

Benefit Roller Lash

(Super-curling and lifting mascara)

My technique of applying this may be wrong as this is fairly new to me. Probably works best for lashes that are already naturally curled and may not cater to asian, stubborn, straight short lashes. However, plus side, it doesn't clump. The brush has two sides to it, one side glides smoothly for the top longer lashes and shorter bristles for the bottom lashes. Absolutely cute packaging too, got bored from using Benefit They're Real Mascara, finally emptied it so thought I'd give this one a run. 

Etude House Drawing Eye Brow (01)
Trusty old eye brow pencil, all my girls use this, it's bomb. Quick and easy application, not much I can say, not much to complain.

Benefit Gimme Brow Brow Brow-Volumizing Fiber Gel (3)

As new to me as the Roller Lash, they came together during a promotion. My friend, Carmen, gave a pretty convincing review from her experience so I thought it would mean no harm trying something new. I don't use it all the time, only when I have extra time to brush it on. My eyebrows grow nicely and thick enough to make me forget to shade in my eyebrows sometimes so this product is not crucial enough to be in my daily routine.

Etude House Play 101 Pencil (Black)

For upper waterline lining. It's bomb. I love it with all my heart, easy peasy to apply (pls take in account I've done it many times). It does smudge a little under my eyes when I smile too much or laugh too frequent, but I can't be sure if it's this pencil or my mascara that is making the smudge.

KIKO Milano Kajal Khôl Pencil (115)

For bottom lash line. Again, super easy to apply (reminded that I've done it many times so practice if it's hard at the start). Cheap if you're on a budget or even when you're not on a budget. Brightens up your eyes and I've been questioned how I look 'fresh' and 'awake' for early lectures, well, this is my not-so-secret. Just line the bottom lash line with a light nude pencil and viola, the fake "I got my shit together" look.

Benefit EyeBright

Glam that inner corner of the eyes, glam that mid nose down to the nasal tip and draw cute triangles on the two left and right nose ala, a dash on the cupids bow of the lip and a final glam on the bottom of the lip AND BLEND LIKE YOU'VE NEVER BLEND BEFORE.

Etude House Bling Bling Eye Stick (#08 Ivory Baby Star)

I roll it at the bottom of the lashes because I love sparkling. Even sometimes that is not enough, I would add little diamond stickers on the corner of my bottom lashes, I've even gone to the extend to give myself glitter freckles. The meme below perfectly represents what go through my mind every time I put my face on.

Benefit HOOLA Bronzing Powder

Swipe and blend the powder under my cheeks, I use the brush provided, I think it works fine so I don't feel the need to use another brush. Not very skilled on this sector.

I use my Harry Potter makeup wand brush to do the brushing near the nose area, brushing an upside down L in a swiping motion.

Rimmel London Stay Matte Long Lasting Pressed Powder (005 Silky Beige)

I can't seem to get away from having an oily T zone but dusting a layer of powder does help for an hour or two, then I'd need to reapply again (which I don't because I'm a lazy butt).

The Face Shop Ink Lipquid (PK04 Pink Hommage)

My lips have always been my top favourite feature of myself, very vain-sounding, yes. If you follow me on pinterest, all my pins on lips are the same style. Tinted in the inner lips and gradiently becomes lighter out to the edge.

Beauty People Wonder High Lasting Tinted Lip Balm (Jolly Balm)

-Second from the left
This tube of balm just never ends, I've been using it constantly after finishing the last drop of my previous favourite lip tint (mentioned below). Stains well but does wear off after a meal unlike my ultimate favourite.

For those who ask about what blusher brand or product I use and how I apply, the thing is I don't.
Mommy gave me cheeks that blush uncontrollably and unsupervised.

Not seen in the top photo

Nivea Essential Care
The boyfriend's lips are sensitive to certain balms (for example: maybelline's lip balm) so I have to use this when I'm around him. Tsk tsk.

Shiseido Creamy Cleansing Emulsion (Makeup Remover)

This has always been my go to since my mommy advised me to stop using makeup wipes and use a creamy liquid alternative. Mommy's always right, I feel better being softer and more gentle to my skin when removing all the gunk off my face. 

During activity filled days, I usually do the bare minimum of removing my makeup and going straight to bed. With a creamy form, it removes makeup as effectively as any other oil based removers, even stubborn mascara or sneaky eyeliners. Another plus to using this cream based liquid, it makes me feel that my face is not only clean but also moisturised. Thus, convincing myself that I should not feel guilty for skipping the whole cleansing and moisturising night skincare routine after the removal of my makeup.

Lancôme Eau Micellair Couceur (Makeup Remover)

My Shiseido makeup remover ran out and I was just about the repurchase another one but the department store I went to in KL did not have them in stock. Hence, compromising with this one. Thinner consistency than what I'm used to, does the same job. Kind to my skin.

Chanel Démaquillant Yeux Intense (Eye Makeup Remover)

Once again, my mommy purchased this for me when she saw that I still had the remains of once a well applied eyeliner but inefficiently removed with a makeup wipe. I admit it's effective in removing eye makeup however would I repurchase it? Nope, because of the price and for not being a big fan of oil based removers. It comes in a form of an oil in water formula, all you have to do is give it a good shake, apply it on a cotton pad and swiftly remove all eye makeup products. Me being a lazy person (though removing my makeup is my most favourite time of the day), I tend to skip the whole night skincare routine if I don't take a shower at the end of the day. So sleeping with a slight oil layer at my eye section is incredibly annoying to me. Hence, my reasoning above.

The Face Shop Lovely me:ex My Lips Eat Cherry Aqua Tint (#2 Juicy Red)

I've used up two tubes of this and can vow it's my ultimate favourite lip tint. If you ask anyone close to me, I had this on me always like it was part of my limb. That's how much I loved this inanimate object. Definitely will be stocking up on these when I get back to my hometown, can't seem to find it here nor on Amazon.

That's the end of it, again. Questions are welcomed, ask away, I'll try my best with the minimal skills I've obtained. It's been a long time coming, I kept coming back and forth to finish this post and I'm done, dusted and ready to publish. I hope you enjoy reading and scuffing at my amateur descriptions and wrong doings. Correct me if you like, I'll take it in consideration. Signing off, goodbye for now.

the land stays quiet and unmoved

This is me, tapping away on my keyboard as quietly as possible so I don't disturb the ones in dreamland. Feelings and/of/or thoughts that are at the peak of raw-ness reveal themselves when one is the only individual awake at 6:19am. One has also been binge watching Hannibal (the series) on Netflix for the pass 6 hours, thought I'd add that.

Lately, I have been having a difficult time channeling or accepting the social norms of current events in this world. To the anger point in whereby I deleted all my social media platforms (only lasted for half a day, talk about self control, I don't seem to have that in my inventory). Advertisements specifically, they're everywhere. Lurking at every corner, the nooks and cranny. It angers me. I used to be immune to them, accepting each and every one as if they truly had a purpose to take my attention away from me (not only that, I studied it as one of my modules in my degree). But they don't, I see it now as time thieves, I didn't ask for it. Bold headlines above a diarrhoea of meaningless, tasteless, unfulfilling, worthless texts and pictures. Yet, here I am, pretty much projecting a similar display on something that I feel negatively upon. Ironic, isn't it? What if what lies in my future is in the advertising department, what would the level of irony be in that?

Do people working in advertising have to like advertisements?

Here is more of me spewing out the questions that run through my mind endlessly.

"What would they think of me knowing I'm unemployed?"

"Do they assume I am actively job hunting?"

"Is doing what I want at the current time considered selfish, lazy and idiotic?"

"Am I doing anything to help myself in my non-existing career?"

"What's taking me so long?"

"What am I waiting for?"

"Why am I constantly afraid?"
"Why do I have to justify what I do with my time?"

"Am I a waste of space, time and resources?"

That last question hits me the hardest and deepest to the extend that it seems to be embedded on my forehead so I see it every single time I look in the mirror and embedded on the back of my eyelids so every blink and shut eye, it's there reminding me. I'm constantly apologising and feeling frightened upon existing.

Grown ups with their life planned out, family foundation laid down, career running on a full tank of oil, did they know they were heading that way? When do you know to take a left turn or right or up or down or speed up or slow down or a pit stop to take a breather?

Realisation//

I think (maybe more like I know) I have the tendency to develop a strong unhealthy attachment to everyone and everything that I hold very dear and close to my heart. No matter how old or worn out the item is. Once I've given it story filled with love, I might as well say it'll follow me to the grave. Even the living, to the point whereby I subconsciously stay awake to treasure the time and feeling of having a loved one next to me (whether they're awake or not). And when my brain knows they'll be too busy to give me attention, only then, I can fall asleep without guilt of under appreciating.

I don't expect everyone to understand this feeling neither will I be surprise if this is fairly familiar to you too, I just, don't know why the atoms of my body, with such capability to do anything is doing nothing. Hopefully, I'll figure things out soon, even if I don't, I don't mind. It's been an hour now, the colour of the sky is tuning out of darkness. I'll be back with more little thought monsters, if not, I'll still be back with more content for my blog. Goodbye for now, readers.

note to self ; for voices heard and unheard

Everything is going to be fine, you have done what you can at that very moment.

You are safe, you are fed, you are warm and you are in a beautiful, brilliant city.

(Though most of the time, your mind don't agree)

The city that surprises you sometimes, from the unexpected kind people you come by

to the unkind ones that you questioned what had happened to them to make them this way.

A lot of times, it may not always go the way you planned,

the way you rehearsed in your mind multiple times,

but a lot of times, things happen for a reason.

Vague, yes.

If you take it with hate-filled feelings, you'll turn just as nasty.

Take it as a sweet opportunity to see the silver lining for all things

and it will outshine any darkness within your perimeter.

You are safe, you are loved and you have someone to love.

This does not only imply lovers but family, friends and furry babies.

There are far more creations on Earth to appreciate rather than bitterness that lurks nearby.

You are safe, you are missed and you can be more of a you than you've ever been you.

Live the life you choose to live.

Everyone is on their own.

But a crowd of individuals fusing together to build something incredibly enormous for the greater good.
That is how things start to make a difference, 

start to speak louder with actions.

That's something worth living for.

You are safe, you have a life and you are precious.

//

So far, four individual men have seated in front of my table with different outfits, different motives of taking a break in this coffee shop. One after the other, different names, different careers, different hobbies, different preference of coffee, different perspectives of what a good life is.

How many people have they seen lowered into the ground?

How many miracles have they witnessed bringing life on Earth?

What are the goods and the bads they've done so far in their lifetime?

By this time, Gymnopédie No.1 by Erik Satie has been on repeat for more than 10 times.

Hence, being thought-filled.

I can't make out the words being exchanged around me.

Harsh, mellow, squicky, calm and that tone that 

signifies an understanding of your situation.

Voices.

We hear voices in our head all the time, 

we hear them when in a public area, we hear them when we're alone.

Don't you talk to yourself?

Tell me why is that hearing voices may cause you your freedom?

Held captive for listening to your thoughts,

forced to be molded into society's representation of 'normal'.

Tell me how is the level of 'normal' measured?

I can't imagine how individuals of mankind are held captive for being different.

Religion. Gender choices. Sexuality. Representation. Perspective.

My heart screams in agony.

That we would do that to our own species

but we have the audacity to take control of exquisite creatures of the animal kingdom.

Creatures with the same mentality to feel love, care, and kindness,

we roll along destroying habitats, breaking families apart and taking their lives to the extent of extinction.

In what world are we in where the bad is always chosen over the good.

Unfairness, captived, restrained, suffocated, tortured, forced and disciplined.

For the nature of who they are, what they are brought into life for.

Isn't that all we're looking for?

We can't manage our own freedom that we have to take others' away?

Some kind of form of escape?

Some kind of remedy to feel better of ourselves?

Some kind of passageway to barricade us from terrors, stress, and strains of all kinds.

While at the same time, taking what belongs to other's away from them.

We are truly our own prisoners.

dream journal #21

1st March 2015

I woke up in a grand hotel having no clue which country I've poofed into and started getting ready to go to the swimming pool. Next to the pool there was a tennis court filled with people doing some synchronise dancing to music. I remember seeing Joshua amongst them and also realised I was wearing my glasses. It looked incredibly fun and I wanted to join in but I knew I had to go all the way back to my hotel room and put my contact lenses on. At the midst of that, I got lost and ended up walking past rooms filled with half-naked men just chilling. At that moment, all I had in mind was to run in which I did, just bolted away. 

I had finally found my room after searching through multiple floors, took my contacts and went to the bathroom to put it on. It's not often that I look in the mirror during dreams but these were one of those rare moments I could see myself through the reflection of the mirror. I was wearing my black and white bikini top with shorts, not much changes, just plain old Sarah. After that, I made my way back to the pool but when I got down, two guys and a woman in suits that looked like Cho, Wayne and Grace (from The Mentalist) started chasing me. By impulse, I bolted and ran out the hotel to the beach where a beach port was situated not far from where I was. People were getting on so I quickly got on the ferry but the chasers manage to get in on the last minute as well. I panicked and leaped off the boat which of course, they had to do the same. I swam with all my might which in dream form, led me to swim as fast as a seal trying to get away from a great white shark.

The sea gradually evolves into what seemed like a mountain river where people usually do extreme water rafting down. I remember strugglling in the water that seemed endless but after one more crash of water hit my face, it turned into complete calmness. I dragged myself towards land and as odd as this is going to sound, it was where I saw mingge (high school classmate of mine) walking with a stranger with two giraffes. I stared at beyond belief and walked towards them. 

But at last, the chasers caught up with me hence, I couldn't satisfy my curiousity upon what I had stumbled upon (bummer for reality Sarah). The chase continued as I started running and climbing over gates and fences. I ended up hiding inside a school. Next to me in the classroom were children hiding as well, I could see some giggling behind the cupboards and under tables. The female chaser, who looked like Grace walked pass my hiding area, I waited for a good amount of time and tried to make a run for it. Grace however was nearby, spotted me and managed to grab hold of me. Without thinking or reasoning, I shouted, "FREEDOM! THIS IS FOR MY PEOPLE!", and broke off a tree branch, gave Grace a quick whack to break free and sprinted away. Ran down the stairs where the boys coincidently were and was again caught. I asked why was I getting arrested for and for how many years. They said, for molestation. I remember pleading my innocence and said all I've done wrong is resisted arrest. From the look of their faces, I could tell that I had successfully convinced them.  Grace unlocked my cuffs and said, "Alright, we'll let you go just this once but don't do it again next time round". She gave me a smile as I walked away to a nearby sidewalk, got into a car that arrived just in time,  looked back at them, flashed a sly smile and waved as the car drove swiftly and far far away.

The End.

(Finally, another one of those rare moments I got to end my dream with a proper ending)