to one of my favourite people in the world

happy 18th birthday to this beautiful lady

I love you with all my butt because you know my butt is bigger than my heart

°˖ ✧◝(○ ヮ ○)◜✧˖ °

♡

dream journal #8

14th October 1998

I dreamt that I had a baby girl... 
I remember I had a big pregnant belly but I didn't know who was my baby's father. Just few days before my child's birth, I think I overheard from my parents discussing that both of my grandmothers recently passed away on the same week but different days. 

After that, I think I blackout for awhile in my dream. I remember waking up on a hospital bed with the familiar hospital smell. With my eyes squinting to try get a clear view of where I was, I could hear the voices of my parents and a baby giggling. There was a guy beside me which I assumed was either my husband or the guy that knocked me up but I didn't get a good view of his face. As soon as my eyes could focus, my mom hand over the baby to me.

My baby was beautiful, she looked 80% of how I looked like when I was a baby but with a little europian features like light brown hair and long lashes. I carried her in my arms, she was so tiny, tiny hands, tiny feet, tiny everything. 

Then my life seemed to fast forward because I only remember glimpses of the guy and I playing with my baby girl. Slowing from carrying her in my arms in a nude pink nursery to putting her on the mysterious guy's shoulders in the park then to her holding my hand side by side walking on a street on a sunny day. 

I remember looking down at her pretty head with her hair tied up in pigtails, as soon as I looked up, I woke up from my evening nap.

△

“A girl wants attention, a woman wants respect. 

A girl wants to be adored by many. A woman wants to be adored by one.”

bubblegum yum bum

I should receive the worst daughter, sister, friend, student and human being award.

goodnight

thank you

"You are like mother nature"
"You bring sunshine to everyone when they need it"
"You bring rain when everyone needs it"
"People are always happy to tend to you
 but they mostly take you for granted"
"Your parents are like your gardeners,
 they love you even though you wither"
"You are vast and colourful"
"No one could replace you"
"Really you are the light of the Earth"
"It pains people to see you this way"
"It's like a natural disaster"
"You are mother nature itself"
"Some people see your beauty, other are too busy"

rock bottom

I'm so sad

I can't do it

I feel terrible

I feel horrible

dream journal #7

          I was on the plane with my family, I think I was the same age as I am now but my little brother was somehow still a toddler. I remember having a little baby sister too. If I'm not mistaken, her name was Maisy. I was carrying both of them on my lap. Suddenly, we had to do an emergency landing because something in the control room of the aeroplane malfunctioned. We all buckled up and wore  the masks that dropped from the top. I was still carrying my toddler brother and my out-of-no-where baby sister.

I remember hugging them as tightly as possible and covering their faces during the impact of the landing. I heard glass breaking so I turned my back quickly to protect my siblings from getting cut from the broken glass. They were really scared but brave enough to not cry, I remember looking at my arms which were bleeding from some of the broken glass that cut me. 

As soon as the aeroplane came to a stop, I stood up and put my siblings down to check if the rest of my family was alright, the man that sat next to me during the flight looked at me in a very shocked pale face and pointed at my back. I couldn't see but I could feel my back getting moist, the man then slowly said, "th-th-there is a big piece of glass stuck on your back." I remember looking straight to the end of the aisle and slowly falling.

That was when I woke up from my dream.

over thinking thought monsters

Where do journeys start and where do journeys end?

Does it start when we finally found our special talent in life

in something particular and strive for it, slowly building 

a strong foundation to become an empire? 

And does it end when we reach the top where there is 

no room for any improvement and can retire 

peacefully with a bank loaded with cash?

As humans are we suppose go to school for 12 years 

and college for 4 years then we work till we die?

△

"Just because a place is familiar does not mean you belong there. 

Just because someone is familiar does not mean you belong with them."

fun fact #2

I can't take leaving my loved ones and my loved ones leaving me easily. 
I get all torn up inside and my steps gets heavier walking away. 
"Leaving", I hate that word. 

Day 30: What changed this month and what you hope will happen next month

Finally

I am at the end of my blog challenge

☆ヽ(≧ω≦)ﾉ ☆

This month, nothing much changed.

I am still the same old Sarah wandering around like a zombie.

Changes in maybe no more college classes till december?

First AS papers which is maths was today.

ugh

I hope that every event/activity I attend

 goes smoothly next month

and that I am safe in God's hands along with

 my favourite people

♥

I got so many events to look forward next month

Going back to my sweet little town

Big booty's ballet recital

Adventures with cassy and wifey

Alicia Keys' concert

april babies BBQ party

Avichii's concert

Selamat Hari Raya Haji btw !

Day 29: A picture of yourself

yesterday's morning face

(╯︵╰)

happy birthday, mommy. you are my love, my heart, my world, my angel.

I love you and miss you strawberry much

and also happy birthday, chloe balony

♥

Day 28: The month you were happiest this year and why

I have absolutely no idea which month I was happiest.

Every month that past has their ups and downs.

But if I were in a choose or die situation,

I'll probably choose my birthday month, April.

It was the month when...

1. I turned eighteen years old
2. I moved into my apartment
3. I started college
4. College mates sang "happy birthday" to me in public on the 2nd day
5. I received my first bouquet of flowers from my lovely mom
6. Birthday surprise from my favourite people

7. BB posted a present to me
8. I bought my baby mac
9. Visited Melaka for the first time with my parents
10. And picture day in college

Day 27: Talk about your siblings

I think I can write a whole essay about my siblings but of course, I would be embarrassed if they ever stumble upon my blog （/｡＼) 

I have an elder sister, an elder brother and a younger brother. They go by the names of Lily, Larson and Noob to me. We grew up taking care of each other but during the last few years of my primary school and the beginning of high school, we grew further apart. Years went by and we started appreciating each other more because we were older and eventually became more mature. I would say I don't have perfect siblings but I love them the way they are. Each one of us have different taste and views in things but we tend to agree in a few things once in awhile.

My older sister, to be honest, she's the bravest person that I have ever met throughout my eighteen years on earth. I secretly respect her a lot since she is the oldest among us siblings and have experience through one of the toughest things in life. She is always getting me the weirdest presents but I appreciate it a lot, thank you ♥ (if you're reading this) As some of you guys know, I'm terrified absolutely terrified of roller coasters. For my older sister, she rides roller coasters like it's a walk in a park, crazy. We had countless arguments living under the same roof, we were always disagreeing in everything, I didn't know why. But when I think back about the past, I was wrong to disrespect her. I'm sorry, Lily and I know I rarely say this but I love you and I'm thankful that God gave me you as my older sister.

My older brother, he's my pretend twin brother. We even ever succeeded in tricking a friend that we were both real twins and he was just a few minutes older than me. Like I said in the beginning, my brother and I barely talked to each other even though we were living together during some of the years. But after he left high school and started college, we got closer, joked around and seemed to have a lot of topics to talk about. We spend a lot of time together going out with our mutual friends for meals and movies. He's the kind of person that is naturally funny even when he's not trying, I like it that he is. He made me become a LFC supporter ♥  Thank you for taking such good care of me, advising and guiding me to live a happier life, I love you.

My younger brother, my little noob. We had a lot of hair pulling and pinching fights since we were little, I guess it was because I had less attention from my parents since he was younger so everybody focused on him. Little kids will be little kids. Little noob and I have very different personalities, I would go up to strangers and introduce myself at times while he's the kind that would just sit quietly in the corner till everything is over then leave. I hope as he grows older, he would build a brighter and funny personality so he can interact and build relationship with more people. But even though little noob may be boring sometimes, I still love you and want you to be the best in everything you do ♥ 

eleventh of october

 happy advance eighteenth birthday, roland

thanks for dinner and for a good time

°˖✧◝( ⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

Inspire, inspired, inspirational

Being 18 years old is not much of a big deal,

 I've been eighteen for 6 months already. 

Don't mind me, I'm just talking gibberish right now because I don't exactly know what am I doing with myself. I am not the person I thought I would be by the time I turned eighteen when I was twelve. I remember imagining myself in a place where I truly fit in and already inspiring younger ones. I always wonder how other people see me and what am I to them in their lives.

"I want to be inspired and to inspire."

Dear God,

I pray this little prayer to ask for guidance 

in the choices I make throughout living

 the life You have given to me. 

I have so many questions unanswered and 

so many goals I have not achieved.

In the future when my time is up,

I just want to stand in front of You and

I hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left,

so I could say, "I used everything You gave me."

In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Day 26: Your religious beliefs

I am a child of God.

For in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith.

Galatians 3:26

Day 25: 10 ways to win your heart

1. Make me laugh, all day everyday
2. Write me cute letters or notes
3. "Good morning, beautiful" texts
4. Make the best mashed potatoes
5. Don't mind my every flaw
6. Draw cute hearts like a 5 year old
7. Sing to me even though you can't or can sing
8. Understand that I am not perfect and never will be
9. Do random dancing in public with me when a good song is playing
10. Love me for the quirky weird girl that I am

two of a kind?

23 August 2013  |  08 October 2013

I find it so odd that I look like two different people.

Day 24: Things you want to say to 5 different people

Things you want to say to five ten different people

Dear honeybee,
I miss that excited face you always give me when I arrive and come straight to me to hug me really tightly. I miss you being such a tourist and taking pictures of everything. I miss that everything you say is always right, you know what I mean (・ｖ・) ♥ I can't wait till the next time we see each other, thank you for being my best friend.

Dear Lareina,
Thinking of you brings back so much memories from last year, the best last year of high school. I loved seeing you six days in a week for the whole year, you were and always will be such a sweetheart. You build a bungalow in my heart to stay because you and I both know that we'll be in each other lives no matter how far we are or how busy we get.

Dear Liam,
Hello... I don't know if you will ever read this but I just wanted to tell you that I'm glad I met you. We might not be as close as we used to be in high school and our conversations are like a candle growing smaller as it burns out but thank you for everything you have done and for every minute you have wasted just for me. Of course, I will never forget the cheesy texts you sent me, songs you sang over the phone and the little things you make and do for me. You will always be the first that made me feel like I was on top of the world.

Dear bb,
Are you happy that I mentioned you in my blog? (｡’▽’｡)
Our nickname for each other is pretty ridiculous, don't you think? I always find it funny but we gave that nickname to each other at form one so I wonder how long will it last. I'm sorry you had to listen to me cry over the phone a few times when I'm at my lowest, you are one of the rare people that I really trust and I appreciate it a lot that you try your very best to always cheer me up. Thank you ♡

Dear Chloe balony,
I'm always looking forward to having more adventures with you and recording more videos ♥ Thank you for making me laugh every single time we meet.

Dear Annabelle,
Stand up tall not so the world can see you but so you can see the world. You, my love, are beautiful inside out so don't dislike your flaws for what society thinks is "perfect" but love your flaws because that is what makes you different and I like it that you are.

Dear bawls,
Thank you for being who you are. Thank you for picking me up when I fall. Thank you for the nerf guns and bracelet you've given to me. Thank you for wasting your time to be there for me whenever. Thank you for being one of my best friend.

Dear wifey,
Thank you for being my daily reader and being just the way you are. May our "marriage" till death do us part.

Dear iks,
I love you with all my butt because you know my butt is bigger than my heart.

Dear gayo mayo,
Smell my armpit and ingus so yummy phew phew

Day 23: Something you always think “what if…” about

What if...
I had gotten together with my high school best friend?
I got into a tragic accident, who would cry over my death?
I gain fame and fortune, would people that look down on me regret?
I were to be beautiful, would people treat me better?
I became a success, would you regret letting me go?

and happy eighteenth birthday to one of my favourite people in the world, the beautiful eeling ♥

blues clues

I had the monday blues before I met the little cutiepies by the pool side in the evening today, totally made my day with their giggles and smiles. Dinner with roommate and friends then went grocery shopping with my lovely roommate for the first time (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

Day 22: 10 things about you people don’t really expect

1. I support LFC
2. I hate long toenails
3. I have abnormal chubby fingers
4. I own/wear my lazy glasses at night
5. I hate my nose and eyebrows plus I'm left handed
6. I can control my dreams and dream most of the time
7. I've never touch snow or gone for a manicure/pedicure
8. Instead of circling multiple choice questions, I box my answers
9. I don't take care of my skin much, I just wash my face in the shower
10. And that I have a blog

Day 21: Something you can’t seem to get over

I can't seem to get over the fact that my future is a big blur

I can't seem to get over the fact that I feel incomplete

I can't seem to get over the fact that I am not born as a sloth

I can't seem to get over the fact that I'm blessed to have what I have

I can't seem to get over the fact that we're strangers again

Sunday afternoon with ko ♥

Day 20: The last argument you had

I don't quite remember the last argument I had actually, 

I am a pretty chill girl and rather give you the silent 

treatment than having an argument. 

I would eventually apologise 

through text if I'm wrong or miss you.

Maybe a small argument with my college mate last Thursday 

when he mentioned, "We don't have a choice".

I strongly believe that we always have a choice in life.

Then he said "You won't understand", which made me assume

that he thinks I am too immature to understand life so I told him,

"Tell me, I want to understand."

and he just said, "Nevermind, forget it, it's the way I think".

Is that counted as an argument?

(brunch with wifey at Fat Boy's)

Day 19: Something that never fails to make you feel better

Being home

A good hair wash

Being able to be feel loved

Having a good 12 hours of sleep

Being around family and good company

Sweating after a good game of badminton
Being good at something I never knew I was good at

Being told that I will become a great mother and wife

A great discount on shoes/top/dresses that looks good on me

Someone noticing the little things I do and getting compliments

and looking at my favourite polaroids of my parents

Day 18: Disrespecting parents

It is the worst thing to do to your parents. I'm sure all of us have disrespected our parents at least a few times throughout our lives living on Earth. If you have never done so then God bless you. In my opinion, I would say that humans most likely to disrespect our parents when we're at that teen age. We're learning so many new things, we're all sculpting ourselves to what society think "perfect" is to fit in into the popular group and it's the years that we think we know what we want but our wise parents think otherwise. I don't know why humans are formed this way, we get all annoyed and frustrated when our parents nag and eventually do something disrespectful. The next minute, we feel guilty as hell and don't know how to ask for forgiveness or apologise because we, ourselves know that it was wrong to be disrespectful for they are the people that gave us life and they were just doing so because they care about us. But eventually, as we grow older each day and tend to mature over time, we show more respect and love to our parents, don't we?

Here's another short clip of mini me eating cake and the one in blue at the last few seconds is my pretty mommy
click me please?

Day 17: Things that make you scared

Being alone

Roller coasters

Horror movies

Public speaking

Losing my belongings

Thinking about my future

Losing my favourite people

Day 16: 3 things you are proud of about your personality

• My bubbly side of me when I'm happy
• My easy to talk to kind of personality, maybe?
• My motherly instinct which makes me care and worry for the people around me

It's the first day of October already

I hope things go well in everything I'm doing and with people I'm around

I don't really feel happy or sad, just neutral.
Goodnight