Being who you are and being who you want to be

I am caught between who I am and who I want to be. It should be common that this is coming across my mind as a nineteen year old turning twenty very soon. There is so much to do in my endless list of things to do in my lifetime and so are the dreams I'd loved to pursue as an individual. It's hard for me as the future I want is caught between two extremely different elements. As a marketing and management undergraduate student right now, the end of this road would to eventually become a manager in a certain organisation but there is something else which I'd like to keep to myself that I want to pursue with absolutely no idea where to begin with it. I need to get myself a counsellor or psychiatrist to listen to me. Ok now back to completing my maths assignment due this Thursday, revision for maths test and doing research for a practice presentation at the end of the week before my Christmas break.

Sarah goes to Leeds

Hello internet, I've been awfully busy with procrastinating 3/4 of my time and completing university assignments with the leftovers. Just submitted my business emergence and growth essay in the afternoon which I am extremely relieved because as always I left it to the last minute to complete. Another test and assignment to go before my christmas break, God bless me.

Anyways, I've been having the thrill of receiving packages from shopping online, it's a whole new delightful world. My order on the GoPro Hero 4 Black edition has arrived and now I'll just be waiting by the doorstep for the memory card to come any time soon.

Just last weekend, I visited Leeds with the Malaysian Society. The bus ride was terrible because it took twice as long for us to reach our destination from an unexpected traffic jam. 

Leeds was a 2/10 for me, to be honest. Keep in mind that it is my perspective and you guys might fancy Leeds more than I do. The christmas market was not all that bad, I had a german Bratwurst sausage that was delicious and a variety of shared desserts. The museum was meh and I can say that the shopping mall is slightly better than Newcastle's. For dinner, recommended by the President of MALSOC, we tried Sukhothai, a thai restaurant. Shafiqah and I shared a beef and chicken pad thai with some soup, 8/10.

After that trip, I have made up my mind that I don't think I would want to travel to any more parts of England with the reason being that to me, it is mostly the same concept everywhere. Nevertheless, I still would like to take a quick trip to Glasglow and Edinburg, preferable alone with no apparent reason.

Hopefully, I would be updating more of my blog after this semester because my drafts is getting crowded and I despise crowds.

Blues clues

Monday blues only struck me after my lectures, I was unable to donate blood with the reason being that East Malaysia is known for having risk of Malaria. Therefore, the formal procedure is to wait 6 whole months before I can make another appointment where my blood has to be checked for Malaria. If I pass the test, then I probably can donate blood if nothing gets in my way again. I was crushed when they told me I had to wait till next year to donate, as weird as I already am. On the bright side, the people assisting me were really nice when explaining my situation. Thank you, God, for the nice people in the world.

Story of my life.

Annabelle Tai

Look at you not being impressed with me, as usual.

Just wanted to lay it on the table that I absolutely loved how you look that night.

Back to the main reason for this post,

Happy blessed 19th birthday and happy halloween, sweetheart.

Pork and beans

Listening to Weezer's Pork and beans right now if you're wondering about the blog title.

So guys, I attended my first ever halloween party last Tuesday.
That was my first official clubbing experience and my second time drinking.
Yes, my birth certificate proves that I am 19 but it didn't come with a life manual where I can read about the extreme raging water rafting ride my life is going to be so I'm left with finding it out by my own like every single person out there.

Not going to lie, I had a pretty good time and surprisingly discovered a new ability.

I "think" I can actually drink.

My people(family and friends) that know me very well have an image in their minds where I despise clubbing, loud music, the smoke and drinking. However, I found out something else about me recently. I find myself more comfortable partying with people who I am close with but not close till we've known each other for almost a decade whereby they know/experience my horrible sense of humour and terrible habit of cleaning too much or my impatience issues. This is where the problem comes in.

I like to think that I play the "mother" role in my group of girls where I judge their life decisions and worry a little too much of them getting hurt or wanting them to be happy in everything and anything they are doing. So during the times where I was given the opportunity to drink and party, I put their safety first and fun at the bottom of the list. I now know how much of a party pooper I must have been to them at those times. I sincerely apologise, girls (message me when you read this) An addition to that, since they know me so well I don't actually want them to see me in my newly discovered "party mode" because... I shy.

Well, to set that aside, university so far has been treating me well and I'm happy. In some cases, I've been thinking about reducing the negativity around me and strengthening the positivity I have already accumulated throughout my nineteen years on Mother Earth.
That's all, nothing serious.

Planning to get myself a GoPro very soon just to satisfy my desire to dive into that wormhole of travel videography and see where it takes me.

Goodnight, internet.

The lone wolf

"Authority is not imposed from above but granted from below."

That's just a saying I came across during my first lecture this morning and I liked it. Frequently, I walk everywhere in Newcastle so I basically have a lot of thinking time in my hands. With that, I've been reviewing my personality, actions and having deep thoughts in the first impressions I give to strangers or actually just what my family and close friends think of me right now. As usual, I'm feeling a little all over the place/messed up/unorganised. I never got myself in order in the first place so I guess it is just something that has risen up in my thoughts again.

Basically, I just don't want to be a hypocrite in whereby I do the things I complain or judge people about when they do it. It's actions and habits that become a daily routine in my life where I don't even notice that I do it in order to avoid it. This came up when I was on the phone with a close friend and he pointed out the errors in which there were a couple of words where I pronounced wrongly or used wrongly in a sentence. It made me question the actions that I carry out daily if it makes me a better or worse person and where is it getting me to. I don't know about you but my aim recently is just be a better person than I was the day before. In being more knowledgeable, in improving my personality and just getting myself one step closer to who I picture myself in the coming years. This blog entry might not make sense to you by all means it doesn't make sense to me either. Just to end this, thanks for reading till the end and hopefully I'll understand myself a little better tomorrow or whenever.

Sarah goes to Malaysia | Summer 2014

Hello there internet, here's a slight glimpse of my summer break 2014. As I said previously, I had a wonderful time reuniting with my family and friends back in Malaysia. I did not do anything fancy such a travelling to exotic places or what not, just making the most of my sweet little hometown. From going on food tour around the city, having family dinner every night, a few exciting activities here and there to just singing and taking naps with princess kiwi.  I hope you enjoy the photos like how I enjoy a good bowl of seaweed soup.

 Photo taken on the day Eeling flew back to Boston for studies.

Taken after dinner on the day we went water rafting with three HK tourists.

Apple crumble with vanilla ice-cream, 5/10.

Internet, meet Princess Kiwi. Princess Kiwi, the internet.

The train we took to get to the river, Padas river water rafting was 10/10.

Gayo with poop coloured eyes.

And the other weirdo with poop coloured eyes.

Almost two months hiatus

Why hello internet, I had a great break this summer. Flew all the way back to my hometown for a month and 10 days and before that I was busy with assignments and exams. Therefore the long pause in blogging and just completing the 30 day blog challenge which took up less of my time during the last few weeks of my course.

However, I'm back to blogging about the happenings in a boring but not so boring life of a nineteen year old university student. Yes, I said it. I'm officially a university student for two weeks now and I like it. I'm in my first year of Marketing and Management if you're wondering and all is well. Previously, I was doing my foundation in Business Management from the month of January to August in order to get into Newcastle University and now here I am.

To whoever that stumbles upon my blog from time to time to read updates of my life, I just want to thank you for doing so and to stay tune for entries in the near future.

God bless.

happy belated blessed birthday, lily

Happy 24th birthday!

Hello lily, I know I did not wish you on your birthday, it was because I thought I could finish this post by then but I've been dragging time letting it sit on the draft section so I apologise. As you know, I miss you and I love you very much. Thank you for being the experiment child knowing that you have to go through everything first as you are the first child. Keep in mind that you had the luxury of being the first born too from all the photos I've seen of your childhood. Through all the best and rough times we have gone through together as a family, I'm glad I have an older sister like you to look up to. I hope you like the photo I chose above, it is one of my favourites of yours.

I may not be the best little sister as I can be very hard to handle but I appreciate everything you have done for me. From gifts you've given to me to taking care of this little princess sarah when I was younger. I hope you don't change in personality and appearance wise in the future because I already love the way you are right now but if you do, of course I'll still love you the same. As always, I pray that you live the life you want to, travel to places you dream of and to be blessed in health and wealth.

Yours truly,
Best little sister in the world because I'm your only little sister in the world
♡

Day 30: A picture of someone you miss

Day 29: A picture that can always make you smile

Day 28: A picture of something you’re afraid of

Day 27: A picture of yourself and a family member

Day 26: A picture of something that means a lot to you

Day 25: A picture of your favorite day

Day 24: A picture of something you wish you could change

Nothing, for now.

Day 23: A picture of your favorite book

Day 22: A picture of something you wish you were better at

Day 21: A picture of something you wish you could forget

The problem is I don't wish to forget anything because the events that happened is what brought me to where I am today and moulded me into the person I've become now.

200th post ♡
Current favourite song: Greg Laswell -Come and goes

Day 20: A picture of somewhere you’d love to travel

Day 19: A picture and a letter

Day 18: A picture of your biggest insecurity

 My body

Day 17: A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

Newcastle upon Tyne

Day 16: A picture of someone who inspires you

Day 15: A picture of something you want to do before you die

Maleficent with classmates

Then dinner for one in a cozy, warm apartment.

Day 14: A picture of something you could never imagine your life without

Day 13: A picture of your favorite band or artist

Day 12: A picture of something you love

My clip-on fisheye lens.

Day 11: A picture of something you hate

White chicken meat.

Day 10: A picture of the person you do the most crazy things with

First shisha, first cider, first beer, first laser tag and first rave.

Day 09: A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

Thank you, beautiful people. I am so blessed.

Day 08: A picture that makes you laugh

Day 07: A picture of your most treasured item

Giraffe ears headband, stuffed toy pig and flat small pillow.

Day 06: A picture of a person you’d love to trade places with for a day

Day 05: A picture of your favourite memory

Incredible view from the hotel room, hot shower in one of the most amazing bathrooms I've ever seen, ordered mash potatoes from room service, watched The Walking Dead while eating my mashed potatoes, fluffy pillows and blankets with my top favourite pillows since I was a toddler and some alone quiet time while daddy was at a dinner meeting with his friends. 

Couldn't have asked for a better relaxing night.

Day 04: A picture of your favourite night

Day 03: A picture of the cast from your favorite show